Song of Rebirth: Homeward Bound

Well folks, I've moved into my new place in Wagga and once must say, I was happy with this place when I first laid eyes on it, but right now, after staying here for three days, I am more than pleased. This place will do nicely I think.

Mmmm... I like the sound of my voice today, I'm singing while Nell is in the shower, and it's nice.

We are headed home today to clean up my place before my grandmother comes home, we left it in a sad state of repair before leaving because of time restraints, so we've got a busy couple of days ahead of us. Ned comes back through Leeton on Friday night to pick up some stuff to take back here, so I have to be ready for him then with everything we missed, which is quite a lot from my camp. I might have to take a page out of Nell's book and make a list of things before we go. I might just do that.

In any case, it's TAFE enrollment day on Monday and Nell finds out exactly what she's doing over here then, which will be good. We also get a chance to see how far she has to walk to TAFE each day from here. Logistically, it doesn't seem that far away, and the main street is actually closer than I thought it was, but it's still good for us to check to see. We don't want the poor girl walking any further than she absolutely has to.

I should probably look for some stuff to bring from home to give me something to do as well, because in my spare time this week, while I've been waiting for Nell to get better, I've done nothing but sit here and tap on this bloody computer. To be perfectly honest, I used to do this a whole lot more than I do now, and it just doesn't give me the satisfaction anymore. I'll have a look around home, see what there is, we'll work something out.

I don't have heaps more news to be perfectly honest. Not a lot has happened, Nell got sick, and I've been looking after her while trying not to get sick myself. I'm looking with apprehension at my phone bill which is starting to spiral. I couldn't pay the money I wanted to from this pay because neither Nell or Ned has any money at all, and it fell on me to pay for every single expense that cropped up this week. Thats not a problem, but I'm in trouble now and I don't like that feeling at all. Here's the golden part, even though they'll both read this and offer me some form of monetary recompitence I wont accept it, because that'll mean they are both in weaker positions to help the house itself and the same thing will happen when I next get paid. I don't want this situation turning into a viscous cycle. Best thing they can do is just let me handle it and pay for the house while I do.

*nods*

Happy Birthday Pa...

Sounds about right. I don't have much else, I'll leave you with a quote and wish you all happy and safe days until we talk again. Cya'll.

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a
fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words in order
that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has
implanted in the human soul."
-Johann von Goethe

FallenPhoenix

The Virtuous Visitor: A Midnight Serenade

Well folks, we have a house. However, as is the case with many things that are good in my life, I am already going well out of my way to sabotage it. The house has three bedrooms, and I really would have liked the master bedroom, but I've already told Ned that he is having it for a variety of awesome reasons, most of which are entirely true. The essence of the matter lies in the fact that the room that I have accepted is quite a bad room, and I don't want Ned to have it. So I took it. I'm just worried it's going to close me off from all the good in the house. I hope not.

My house has taken up a semi-permanent resident in Nell, who has been staying with me ever since I got back. It's been an interesting two weeks, and very educational. It probably wasn't a bad idea to live with her for a couple of weeks while we wait to move in in Wagga, because it gives a precursor for things to come, something that I guess I appreciate. She's a lovely person to live with, and I don't think the next 12 months are going to be particularly challenging.

So what else is new. Unusually, my phone bill is a little outside my ability to pay for a change. The week that I was in perth put me out a little and I'm being challenged to pay the amount that I owe, which is only slightly more than I can handle. Such things happen, and I am now juggling rent once again as well, so it should be an interesting little trip.

Sometimes, when life seems really down, the best you can do to right a situation is smile. I feel a warmth coming over me at the moment, despite the fact that my personal life is a little challenging. Maybe it's a sign for a strong year, maybe I should do a reading and find out. Playing with cards for myself, how interesting. It's been a while, and Tarot is something I don't like to play with unnessisarily, but there is a lot riding on this year, and it might well be prudent.

"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my
energy."
- Anonymous

FallenPhoenix

Searching for a Home: Lost in Space

I can't really post too much at the moment, but I'll do an update later tonight, the main reason for me writing this down is to post something cool I found on Lynelle's journal. I'll do that now...

I confess that in 2005 I...
() stayed single the whole year.. .
() got my first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
() made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
() kissed in the snow
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
(x) fell in love with a fool
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
(x) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) questioned your sexual orientation
() came out of the closet
() gotten pregnant
() gotten someone else pregnant
() had an abortion
() gotten married
() had a divorce
() had a gay marriage
(x) kissed someone of the same sex
(x) dated/dating someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
() lost your true love
() lost faith in love
() kissed under miseltoe

WORK/SCHOOL
() got a job
() got a promotion
() got a pay raise
() changed jobs
() lost your job
() quit your job
() dated a co-worker
() dated your boss
() dated your boss' daughter/son
() got fired from your job
() got straight A's
(x) met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
(x) failed a class
(x) cut class
(x) skipped school
(x) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
() discovered a new talent
() gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embaressed yourself in front of the class
() fell in love with a teacher
() got a lead in the school play
() made a varsity team
() made a junior varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget
(x) got sent to the office

OTHER
() drew/painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
(x) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
() went to camp
() threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
() laughed till you almost peed in your pants
() flirted shamelessly
() visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
(x) cooked a disasterous meal (YES... the chicken wasn't that pink... no really.. I think it was still alive.)
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
() tried to gain weight
() dyed your hair
(x) came close to losing your life
() saw your favorite band/artist live
() saw someone famous in person
() did something you want to tell everyone
(Yeah!!! I know this isn't an X... fuck you all!!!!) enjoyed this year overall

Yeah that was a pain in the ass, stupid blogger, makes me press enter for every one of those, now I have to go up and tick all the ones I've actually done... how irritating.

------------------{ UPDATE }-------------------

So t's the next day and I actually have a dedicated internet server here at home, which equates to having the internet whenever I want it, which is definately a good thing. It's been a tough week since I got back from Perth. Weve been house hunting for the better part of the week and have been rejected from almost every house that we have applied for. We have seen four ideal houses go by and the spirits of my two friends is getting darker and darker. Lynelle has been sick for most of the week and her stomach and her mood have really put a dampener on her and the groups spirits. Ned is falling into a certain despair as well, as he got as lucky as I did the first time he rented and is not used to so much rejection.

Well, I hear you ask, what about the person who is usually the most pessimistic in the group, if your two far superior friends are feeling down, what about you? Trying to kill yourself yet?

Not in the slightest, ne thing I have to admit being a little surprised about is that I have managed to stay almost superhumnaly optimistic throughout this entire process, and with good reason. Having another two of my friends come and live in Wagga, in such lose proximity to me is a massive leap in the right direction for me. It means that I will have the motivation I need, the motivation that Jassi could not have hoped to provide entirely on his own, to get where I want to go.

Incidentally, the house that we are currently looking at and awaiting a call from hs the cutest real estate guy, when he first came to see us, Nell and I were like "Uh huh, HELLO!!!!". He's hurt his foot badly over the weekend, so he can't approve or decline our application. My sympathies go out to you Cade...

List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
- Don't say who they are.
- Disable comments.
- Never discuss it again

1. It's not that your not enough, it's just that I cannot change the way I feel as quickly as some people. Tme will tell.

2. There is a very uncomfortable vibe between us and I am doing everything in my ower to avoid you because of it. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is.

3. Sometimes you frustrate me so much. I love you to death and sometimes I feel like the dirt gets more attention from you than I do.

4. Frustration is knowing that your good at something, but knowing you'll never get a chance to prove it.

5. Thankyou so much for everything you gave me. I know I never looked like I was listening to you, but you were my inspiration, and I will take the way you lived with me throughout the rest of my life.

6. Why can't you trust me. I would give my life for my friends, all of them, and you believe so vehemently in the fact I would turn my head on one of the closest friends I've ever had. I'm sorry, but that is beyond my ability to comprehend.

7. I am so wary of you now. You've caused me so much pain, so much anger, so much loss, but you still have something about you which drawns me to you. Once bitten twice shy, but twice bitten no cigar. We may talk, but don't ever expect me to trust you again.

8. I'm sorry I make you hate yourself, I'm sorry that I push for things that make you feel this way. I'm sorry that I feel the way I feel. I'm sorry that it will never change. I'm sorry if that forces me to lose you.

9. I regret the distance I have placed between us. You and I are always going to be good mates, but the fact that I see you as dangerous will always be the distance required to stop us from being great mates. I'm sorry that I can't do anything about that.

10. I love you but some times you need to learn to grow up. The world does not revolve around you, it never did. You are a capable person who does not need the entire world bowing to them to acheive thier results.

“A roof to keep out the rain? Four walls to keep
out the wind? Floors to keep out the cold? Yes, but home is more than that. It is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father, warmth of loving hearts, lights from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship. Home is
first school and first church for young ones, where they learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind, where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick; where joy is shared sorrow eased; where fathers and mothers are respected and
loved, where children are wanted; where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned; where money is not as important as loving-kindness; where even the tea kettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it!" -
Anonymous

FallenPhoenix