Who am I? I am Steve
Where am I? Sitting at my new place here on Thorne St, Wagga.
What am I doing? Filling out this survey just because it’s grossly out of date, and because a Witchhunter suggested it.
What is my name? Steven Wayne James (last name omitted for privacy reasons)
How old am I? Twenty One Years and two months.
Where was I born? Canterbury Hospital, Sydney, Australia
Where do I live? Between University in Wagga and my home in Leeton, N.S.W
What are my social, financial and political circumstances and beliefs?Social : My social beliefs have remained more or less unchanged throughout the years. Friends are important, and it’s important to try and reach out beyond thse who you call your close friends at times as well. People have so much to offer, and I feel like there is more wisdom to be gained by watching people than by reading a thousand books.
Financial: People take money far too seriously, and that is something I find a serious shortcoming of our species. People need to put things into perspective. Money is just money, it doesn’t rule your life unless you let it.
Political: Politics still doesn’t play a huge part in my life. I believe that people need to have a voice, and I believe that as long as we have a right to vote on the people who run our nation, that we will be just fine. Sure there are some people in politics who really shouldn’t be, but lets do a perspective check, every profession has that.
If I were an animal, what would I be? I reckon I’d still be a dog. I like the idea of companionship and I like the loyalty and pure ruggedness of a dog. Yup, I like dogs.
If I were an element (earth, air, fire, water) what would I be? Fire. I am deeply spiritual, and my astrological element is fire. I believe that I am a prime example of this element, with the power to create or destroy but not the control to choose.
What are my physical characteristics? I am tall but surprisingly agile for my height. I have massive legs (from many years spent on an Olympic trampoline) and a underbuilt upper body. As such I am not exactly proportioned and I am way too lazy to get off my butt and do anything about it. I am not fat but I sure as hell aint skinny. I feel that I am maintaining an optimal weight at the present time.
What are my likes and dislikes?Likes: Fire, fantasy, Food, performing arts, music, warmth, strength of character, soul-jarring conversations with someone you really trust.
Dislikes: Being pushed around, close-minded people, being hungry, shallowness, deceit.
What opinion do you hold dear? I am my own person and there aint no-one on this earth that has the power to change who I am but myself. I will be who I am forever and that's a fact.
What do I do to achieve this? I often speak my mind at inappropriate times and am a free spirit with the majority of my actions. I take constructive criticism about myself but will not follow a crowd or fashion if I don't like it, regardless of the social and ethical costs.
What do I do each day? Usually, with uni on, I’ll get up an hour before uni, have a shower get dressed, maybe get a bite to eat if I’m running on time and go. At the moment however, my days are very whim like… I do what I want when I want… within respectable boundaries.
What are my hobbies? At the moment, my biggest hobby is Dungeons and Dragons. It takes a lot of time though, so I don’t have much time for anything else. My life is about other people at the moment, even D&D serves people. Doesn’t anyone notice that… :P
What am I wearing? Why? I’m wearing a dark green polo shirt which Rachel’s parents got me for christmas. I really like it. I’m also wearing a pair of tan cargo shorts which I got from my grandmother for chirstmas. I’m wearing them because I’m told they look good and because it’s like a million degrees more outside.
What is in my pockets? Why? I have a set of keys, both to my flat in Leeton and to the place here. I don’t know where my set of keys got to, but these ones are Ned’s. I also have my wallet, because it’s a wallet and if you don’t have ine your sad, or poor. Lastly I have my phone with it’s new holden phone cover. Seeing as it flew off the back of toddy and got run over by a car, I figured it would be only fitting to see an ode to cars every time I look at my phone.
What are two extreme points of my personality? Well, Nell says I’m bipolar. I have this intense need to help people, but I refuse help from others when I really need it. It’s kinda an extreme sort of shift, and it makes me look hypocritical. I’m comfortable with that…
What is my life objective? To be a success. In money, love and hopefully career.
What is my status/relationship to other people? I try to treat other people with respect regardless of circumstance or relationship, but I find myself increasingly more paranoid around people I don’t know. I just seem to assume the worst of strangers and meeting new people makes me nervous. It’s odd.
What are the three most important events that have occurred in my life? To me the most important thing that ever happened to me was the disintergration of a group of friends who I had been friends with all through junior high. I got kicked out of the group because someone suspected I was gay, something I was running with at the time, and it was through this break down of my friendship group that I was able to fully experience life alone through school. It taught me a lot of things and I finally settled down into a new group of friends who actually respected me for who I was (not that they knew any of the rumours were true yet) and in this group were both Ned and Tam. I’ve lost contact with Tam over a stupid fight, but Ned and I are closer than ever.
The second most important event to happen in my life was slightly before the first, in the meeting of Jarrod. Jarrod was a member of the aforementioned friendship group but he and I had been friends since primary school and he gave me a lot more benefit of the doubt. He and I still remained friends after the whole incident and to this day we still hang out. He is 100% straight (which I cannot deny being disappointed about) and although he is just coming out of a messy relationship with Jess, my closest cousin and someone I treat as my little sister, he and I remain close.
I’ll change the last one, I believe now that meeting Lynelle was another single important thing in my life. She’s only very new to me, I’ve known her well for less than a year, but she has changed so much about who I am and the way I act. He has influenced so much positive change from me, and I see her being a big influence on my life until she can’t put up with me anymore…
The most beautiful part of my body is... my eyes. I like them, they communicate so much more than the words I viel. An easy to way to tell anything about me is to watch my eyes, you will find them the true way to judge anything I say. My eyes give away my emotions, something my words cannot viel. You just have to learn how to read them.
Happiness to me is... the freedom to do what you think is right free of societies or even other peoples beliefs.
The thing I most want to do before I die is... say that I have loved someone and that they have returned it. It might be a small thing but in my books, that's real and important to me.The most embarrassed I ever was... was probably when I was very little. I don't get embarrassed easily, because I've been acting all my life and due to my perpetual cynicism, I am one tough cookie. Talk about your 30ft stone walls.
The ugliest part of my body is... Probably still my hair… it’s growing long, which I like, but it’s all fuzzy and gross, which I don’t like. I keep looking at it, thinking there must be something I can do with it to make it better… no idea folks.
The thing I like best about myself... is my ability to rise to my feet regardless of the crisis at hand. There has not been a single situation in my life where I have not known exactly what to do. Granted sometimes took longer than others but I have moved though everything as I got it, without stopping. I feel that's a real life skill and something a lot of people need to develop. (not to say there aren't a billion different things I have to develop). This is the main reason for my handle:
Phoenix.
Pain to me is... the unbearable loneliness that creeps into your soul at 3am some idle Tuesday morning and regardless of how hard you try to shake it claws away at your very being until there is nothing left but a desicated husk void of all emotion and spirit.
My mother/grandmother/female caretaker or w/e... Taught me... the true meaning of respect. My grandmother is a beautiful woman and respect to her is a very important thing. As such I prioritise it highly as well and that is something I will always thank her for.
The thing I regret most is... the four years of my life I wasted wishing that I was somebody else. In all seriousness, I realise now that that was the biggest waste of time possible. It was unavoidable at the time but I regret that I didn't have the strength of mind, the presence of character and the power of will to break out of it and accept who I was a lot sooner. If I had have, my teenage years could have been a lot better.
The most secret thing about me is... my ability to manipulate people, both mentally and emotionally. This was another tough question and sad to say I could only come up with a negative answer. Very few people know when I play them mentally or emotionally. I have always used my natural born intellect to control situations to my liking and people have never really noticed it. This is a great shame because I could use my intelligence for so many other purposes... But what can you do, we are who we are.
I can hear my father/grandfather/ male caretakers voice speaking through my own when I say... Thankyou! This was an insanely difficult one. My grandfather is a many of very few words but the words he says he means. As such, I almost never say thankyou an a lot of people think I am being rude by omitting it in my every day speech. This is not my intention, I only ever say Thankyou when I mean it. This goes for a lot of other things as well... The important things in life don't need to be said over and over until they are done to death, they need to be said every so often and meant!
Love to me is... when two people accept each other into thier lives without fear of persecution. Each person maintains thier individuality but the strength of the bond between the two are strong enough to challenge all else. Love is when two people trust and respect each other explicitly and without question. Love is beautiful. Love is... Love... I guess...
The thing I am most proud of is... that my friends all seem to be progressing into a period where they no longer need me as a guide. For so many years I helped them with deep seeded issues and it looks as though I have completely out-lived my usefulness. I am so proud of all of them for learning from thier mistakes and not making new ones. Well Done Guys!! Now if only I could work that well on myself...
Every time I don't get what I want I tell myself... Meh! What can you do. We do not control every aspect of our fates. There are times when little we do matters because the end result is decided by someone else. It is times like these where you have to sit back, sigh, and continue on with your life. Dwelling on things we cannot change does much more harm than good. As I told a friend of mine just yesterday, "... Hatred is such a negative emotion... And it achieves nothing... I'd rather continue a positive relationship with someone than a wilily negative one... that's a strong belief of mine"
If you could hear the music in me... I would expect all of you to sing along. The music within me is for all of you guys… just listen. It’s not as silent as all of you seem to thing.
I want my epitaph to be... (for those who don't know what an epitaph is, it's what will be written on your gravestone) "If the only way we can be together is in my dreams, then I'll sleep forever".
I was informed this evening that one of my old D&D players was in a serious car accident last night and has been airlifted to Sydney. I'm scared for him, because they say that it was a bad accident and he is in a bad way. Luke, dude, your in my prayers, I hope everything goes ok for you matey. Your a fighter, stay strong.
I don't have much else to say. I am eaitng a gorgeous stir-fry made my Nell. it's so much fun taunting her. :P I love it.
"Respect human talent, respond to genius, recognize reality, admire truth and beauty, realize the meaning of the rare flower Reason."
-Peter Nivio Zarlenga, The Orator, "Flight", 1977FallenPhoenix
