Dreams of Tomorrow: Harmonic Anthem

So folks, I went to bed early for a change. I made it to bed before 11pm for the first time in a long time since I've been sick. So why, do you ask, am I sitting here typing away at this confounded computer at 4am on a Saturday morning. The answer isn't simple.

I've got a lot going on in my head at the moment, more of course than I am letting on. Such things are not exactly public enough to hit this forum, so the people who need to know will find out very shortly. All things come to an end I guess.

I have been reviewing my policy on friends over the last week, after some information filtered down to me that I wasn't doing my job correctly. Now, I take my friendships very seriously, so I think it's time to take this early morning opportunity to highlight a few core things.

First of all, I'm somewhat unique when it comes to friends. I believe that for anyone to want to be my friend for any length of time, they have to be fairly crazy, so one does ones best to be fairly free and accomodating at all times. I'll go out of my way as often as I can to make sure that my friends are catered for, well before my own needs. However, the maytr complex of mine aside, I do have a specific way of dealing with friendships that is unique to me, and I could go into all the psychobabble to explain my reasons for it, but I don't think I want to. Basically, the way it works is that I will leave a friend, not talking to them for weeks and months at a time, then come back and expect to pick things up from where they were. This is not out of any deep seeded need to hurt my friends, on the contrary, it's because I feel so confident with my friendships (at least the ones that have been around a while) that I feel no need to murmur platitudes at someone unneccesarily.

I found out only recently, from a source who really doesn't care too much, that not everyone of my friends work this way, in fact none of them do, and some resent me for the fact that I "ignore them" or that I neglect them at times. Whether or not this was the case, I was shocked and I did some soul searching over the next couple of days. I always knew that of all of my friends, Lynelle definately has that quality about her, she works the same way I do, however, I was the first to find out that one of my friends from a lot longer ago feels exactly the same way I do, and that worked in my advantage with the strength and conviction of this post. In my opinion, I would do anything for my friends, and I don't think a little confidence in a friendship is too much to ask in return.

On that note, it's been a mixed couple of weeks for me, and I don't know whether I am coming out of them stronger or not. I have a lot to look forward to over the next few months, and seeing as I found out that my brain isn't cancerous, I can stop fretting about having to have my affairs in order for something I wasn't completely in control of. So where does that leave me now?

I am looking more and more forward to these Idol auditions in Albury that are coming up deceptively quickly, and I'm going to have to ask Iain if he wants to do some vocal practice with me. I'm shy as all hell about my voice, and I need to do some work in front of people before I embark on this little sidequest at all. I should be ok, but it'll be fun to do some vocal exercises with Iain anyway, he's a funny dude, and he makes everything around him more entertaining just by being there.

Ned's folks are coming this weekend, and although my usual reaction would be to scream and run home (believe me folks, I would if I could) my money situation is worse than usual. I have to stay up now until Lynelle rises from the dead so that I can give her everything she needs to do what I intended to do while I was home. I'm not scared for Ned's parents (thats me getting defensive about what the voice in my head is saying), but as Ned would surely understand, they make me increasingly uncomfortable. It's something that I've been holding for a good many years, and although they are really nice people, I can't help but feel bad around them. I hope I don't illicit the same vibe.

Now folks, I thought it might be nice to bring about a sort of challenge, lets make that Blog a little more interactive sort of thing. By now, all you regulars will have noticed that there are always two parts to each of the titles of my posts, and they sometimes seem a little irrelivant. I'd like to issue an ongoing challenge to anyone who thinks that they can decipher what I am talking about in each of the two parts of every post (including this one) from now on. There are prizes if you do it properly.

So here are the rules:

• You can summarise each peice with no more than ten words per section.
• Overtly vague and general responses, no matter how accurate, will not count. I am always very sepcific with my titles, and all of them mean something sharp. Don't be blurry.
• All responses will be dealt with by email, though your welcome to leave the actual responses on the site.
• There can only be one winner per post, to whom I will give credit to in the next post.

So, the prize... I'm a cheapskate, and have no money, but one thing I do have is information. So here's the deal. To anyone who can identify a post in total, I will answer any three questions they might have about myself, my opinions and my life, furthermore, in an effort to encourage myself to be more open, I will post (unless specifically asked by the winner not to) the questions and thier answers in the next post. Consider this like a sub-column for The Phoenix Process. This will persist until someone tells me it's stupid or the ratings fall off the face of the planet.

"“We all have fears, Josh. What separates us is how we deal with them.”"
- Mike Marcus

FallenPhoenix