I'm listening to old music while flirting with someone I like, and singing to myself quietly in a room in Wagga. So many things just came rushing back to me in that instant and I almost burst into tears for some reason. This feels right, I don't know why, and this feeling is very foreign to me, but something about this feels right.
I'm surrounded by people who cannot see the potential that they have. I used to feel so sad, right up until a moment ago, but I have realised now, right now, right at this second that I cannot hold that against them. Some have legitimate reasons for not accepting positive feedback and compliments from other people, and some people are just so unused to it that it makes them uncomfortable.
So what do I do? I work harder to make them feel like what I say is truth. They will slowly begin to see, each of them, peice by peice, that I love them all so dearly and that everything I tell them, every word, every syllable, every breath is the truth, my truth, thier truth.
I feel so right in this moment, I'm feeling so insecure, so vulnerable, so downright unprotected. I have given a lot this evening, I've given up a secret I wouldn't usually blurt out, and I've given out to someone the fact that I really like them, I've also given out a peice of myself for the world to view. You know what, it just feels right. You know. I don't know what this feels like exactly, but it's not a negative thing, and I'm feeling it right now, so it's damn hard to put it all together.
In the same way my friends don't seem to see thier worth, I can't seem to believe that in a single night so much that I used to protect so dearly has just been bared to the world. It will be hard for anyone reading this to see what I am talking about, but I've taken steps tonight that I never thought I'd take. I'm moving towards something I know will change me forever. I'm feeling like this is the beggining of a total new phase of my life. I like that idea.
Bring it on I say! I'm ready for this, now, finnally, I'm ready for this.
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." -George Bernard Shaw
FallenPhoenix
2 comments:
im like the only one that is posting on this.
i hope im not the only one gaining from this enriched blog.
and i mean that!
I wonder if you had anything to do with this new found happiness in his life. I dont think I have done anything for a while to have that much of a change if ever.
So yes, it is you.
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