The Death of Innocence: A Friendship Lost

I don't think I fully understand what just happened right now. I just got a call from Tam, who accused me of making some horrible phone call to her about a month ago and apparently she knows I did it and was looking for an apology and an admittance.

I do not, and cannot believe that she would actually believe that I would do something like that. She was entirely convinced that I would pull a stunt like that and be fucking proud of it, like I owned her suffering or something. She was under the direct impression that Jassi and I would sit in a room and give her a call, just for kicks, and hurt her and not admit it, just for a bit of fun, just a bit of a laugh on uni night. This is entirely fucked up.

To me, I feel like I've just lost one of the people who really understood me, purely because they didn't understand me enough. She seemed to be under the impression that I would do something like this for fun, and that I would deny it just like I have at other times. She left no room for me to defend myself. Fuck I feel trapped.

Scary thing is, I have no idea what this situation is going to lead to. I know for a fact that this "act" was never perpetrated by me, and although I have no means of proving myself innocent, I can only draw security from the fact that I didn't do it. I will never own up to something that I didn't do. Tam asked me on the phone if it would really be so bad, after all the lies I told that I just took this one on the chin, and I was like, yes, it would. For me to admit that I did something that I blatantly did not would be to sell out and do something that I am admitting not to have done in the first place, it's a fucking paradox. I can't lie to her by saying that I've lied to her. It makes little sense at a glance, but nor does this entire bloody situation.

I'm gonna go now and pleasantly distract myself from my pain.

"The answers to life questions lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust." - Anonymous.

FallenPhoenix