The Minds Eye: Differing Perspectives

It has come to my attention over the last few days exactly how much our individual perspectives shape the way we act and react in certain situations. What might matter so much to me may not matter in the slightest to someone else. They do not react at all, and I end up feeling bitter because they showed no interest. It's funny how priorities are so different from person to person and how they are shaped by our lives up to this point.

This realisation has made me really look at the things that matter the most to me, and I have to say that coming into the forefront is the fact that my friends are really my life. The few special people who have worked thier way to my heart, that have braved the spiky exterior I have worked so hard to manufacture are granted so much from me. To me, every thing they say matters, everything they do, thier opinions, thier hopes, thier dreams, thier aspirations, no matter how small or how trivial.

There are certain things that I really just don't consider a priority at all. Money is one of these. I don't really care where my money goes, so long as the bills are payed and everyone around me is happy. Which leads me back to my first point. Money doesn't matter to me, but my friends do, so I go out of my way to spend my money on my friends. A fact that infuriates some of them. This perspective thing is complicated though, because until recently, I was under the impression that everyone felt the way that I did about this (and other) issues. Big Mistake. It goes further than that as well. But first, lets explore this example.

The reason I am so free with money is because despite my troubled early childhood, I was well cared for and well looked after by my Grandparents when I finally move in with them. I have always had a comfortable life. My entire family has been comfortable and well looked after. We all went to private schools and were given every opportunity to excel. Money was never a problem. It wasn't something to throw around, but it was not a limitation, more of a ticket we got every now and then.

I've never held friends for very long. I've always had this incredible skill for losing them after a short time frame. It's hard to say why exactly, but I always seem to be the cause of it. I lost a group at the end of primary school and again, halfway through high school, and most of my high school friends are now naught but aquaintences, with two very special exceptions. These two events caused me to seal my heart to the world outside. I will admit to the world in this post that it will take a miracle for me to fully trust anyone again ever. Someone once came very close to that, they promised me, they swore to me that they would never hurt me, and guess what... they fucking hurt me... what a fucking surprise that was. All of my friends have a special peice of my heart, and that means that they have a peice of my life which is there's specifically. Ned and I have a brothership which will endure forever, despite my moods and his nonchalance. Nells is the person I will turn to when the world inevitably hurts me again because I know I am safe with her. Jassi has the old me, the history behind the phoenix, and dude, our circle still rages strong, something you and I have watched for close to a decade.

So friends are a central pivotal focus in my life, something I will always cherish and always hold above and beyond myself. I guess this is for a multitude of reasons, I do it because I fear that if I don't, they will abandon me, like a few have. I do it because they are empathic, loyal and virtuous people who deserve to get the very best from everyone they encounter. I do it simply because I know no other way. For me, I've always been taught a friend gives everything they have and everything they are. I live by that when I can.

I guess the focus behind this post is to say that everyone sees this wide wonderful world in differing ways. Everyone has something that matters to them and something that doesn't, many have quite a few things that fit into those categories. It gets better kiddies, because while it's possible for two people to have similar perspectives, it's rare, and every single focus works with every single other focus to determine human interaction, which is the key reason behind the staggering diversity of our race. So many people, so many differing perspectives. Kinda makes the head spin doesn't it.

Hope I didn't get too philosophical on ya'll folkies. I guess we all just need to step back when a relationship is proving difficult and try and assess the difference in perspectives. What matters to the person I am having trouble with? What matters to me? Am I reading into this too much because I believe that what matters to me matters to them? What can be done to find a middle ground?

All good questions hmmm? By the Gods it'd be great if we had the time or the mentality to be processing that every time we had a difficulty with another person. World would run a lot smoother.

Still, when one is granted time in the future to think about a situation before it either escalates or is diffused, one might be wise to ask oneself a few of those questions, one might be surprised about ones answers.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of
trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success
achieved."
-Helen Keller

FallenPhoenix